Get Your Ex Back....And Other Internet Lies.

Trying out my first "selfie"...August 2013

The internet is riddled with articles, books, YouTube series, and all kinds of other shit on getting your ex back. When you really think about it, they all have that one common tactic. The "No-Contact" solution. Honestly, at this point in my recovery, I'm also ashamed for even looking this nonsense up. Not as ashamed as the psycho-stalking tactics that I utilized, but pretty close.

I was convinced that he just needed time and space. So I was giving it to him. I still couldn't get over the urge to text or contact him, as it was a major part in the relationship in order to stay close when we couldn't necessarily BE close. In addition to the No-Contact bull, the next step in the guide was to "focus on yourself and your well-being". 

Smart words. Smarter results. And a shifty tactic on the part of those so-called internet relationship gurus.

After the initial emotional roller-coaster that I endured that previous week, I decided that this was the time for me. I did the things that I put off for so long, like getting a new phone (well, mostly because my old Blackberry was his hand-me-down). I removed myself from my comfort zone. That first weekend, I visited a lot of old friends and family. Alone. I talked everything out. I expressed my emotion. I cried. I laughed. I told my co-workers who cried with me (you can only hide something like that from your work family for so long). I still felt the anxiety in the pit of my stomach, and it felt like it was getting worse. But I kept using therapeutic outlets such as Twitter to express my grief. 

Ugh. He had Twitter, too. And was having candid conversation with that "who" I described in my last post. It killed me. And then of course curiosity got the better of me, and I took a little look/see at Who's feed. 

Bad. Fucking. Idea.

Let's just say that what I saw was not what I should have seen in that emotional state. And of course when I confronted my ex about it, he defended and denied. And he was angry. Still. 

My Get-Back-With-Your-Ex plan had new meaning to it. It became a game. And mind games are never the answer.

I deleted my account soon after and haven't looked back. I swallowed my pride and apologized to him for the angry confrontation, and decided that I was going to stick to not contacting him and REALLY focus on myself. 

You'll understand why this No-Contact thing works in the way you least expect it in my next post.

MUSIC: Lot's of Fiona Apple, Filter (really angry), Love Interruption by Jack White, Head Down album by Rival Sons
MOOD: Anxious, nervous, hurt, angry, optimistic